Getting Even

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Vampires are mysterious and mythical creates that absolutely fascinate me. I adored the TV show True Blood. Many of the others in the last few years have been absolutely tame. While it surely is a frightening subject if you have any innate fears, most of the time these pale denizens of the night have been romanticized. That’s okay with me. I enjoy the wonderful novels called gothic fiction like Dracula, Vampire Hunter, Vampire Earth, Twilight (the series), The Vampire Diaries, and hundreds more such as anything by Anne Rice. It is a super popular genre.

I love the websites: How to Become a Real Vampire (ha!) for example. I think my blog has a pretty good title – Vampire Elite Coven. I could spend hours and hours on the Internet finding new ones. There are histories of this breed, descriptions of novels, tips on how to fend them off (the sign of the cross with your index fingers), and how they feed if they are off humans.

Now you know what I am about. Today I want to talk about something that has been bugging me, not related exactly to my hobby and passion. I will start by telling you that I hate my neighbor. He hates that I like vampires (I admit it to anyone) and put up horrid images at Halloween or when I have a party for like-minded folk. I have had many run-ins and have to curb my frequent anger. No hope of converting this dude.

I am furious now that he has installed a portable basketball hoop and plays literally day and night. I hear the constant thumbing of that orange sphere when he practices his dribbling. It is driving me crazy and I am planning my revenge. I have to wait for my moment. I don’t want to just leave a terse note at the door or call him incessantly. I could elicit the help of other neighbors who are disturbed and like me better. They find me amusing and fun to talk to. This guy is itching for trouble and I have a plot.

Since my neighbor plays often at night, I have thought of turning off his electricity to douse the exterior lights. I just have to find the box. I could also put a creepy vampire complete with mouth dripping with blood on his front door. Now I am getting closer to what I want to do.

I have to wait for the right moment to make my move. Revenge is at hand. The problem is, what will he do to me? Will he report me to the authorities or the Vampire king and ask that I be drained of blood. Ha! I can also put jars of human blood in his yard, but they will actually be animal serum. I could pour the stuff on his sidewalk to make his blood curdle. Ha! He wouldn’t then be fodder for my precious and particular vampires who prefer fresh fare.