Circumventing Sunlight

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With all the books on the subject, plus the TV shows and movies, we know a lot about vampires. Google the word and you will get hundreds of results. They can live in small southern towns and co-exist with “shape shifters” (True Blood HBO) and fall in love with humans. They can be wealthy professionals like the doctor and his family in Twilight and its sequels. They can be frightening beasts with mouths dripping blood or civilized beings with hearts. One thing they all have in common is good or bad, they can’t tolerate sunlight. We know what happens when their skin begins to corrode. They sleep in coffins during the day.

Is there a way around the detrimental effects of the sun so they can enjoy a “normal life?” In some books and TV series they get injected with some weird concoction that works for a while. However, a permanent solution for all vampires and their kin still awaits these suffering creatures. If you had to come up with an idea, it might be radiation protection suits. However, they would not be attractive. Edward Cullen, as stylish and beautiful as he is, would never wear one. Nor would any of his “family.”

Circumventing sunlight is easier said than done. Protective clothing is so boring as to ruin the vampire image. A hat and sunglasses makes me laugh. If we are going to offer a suggestion worthy of the genre it should be an auto-darkening welding helmet like the ones from These look amazing like something from Star Wars on a soldier from another planet. In point of fact, this helmet would give Darth Vader a run for his money.

Welding helmets that dim practically upon command—and in a split second—might work if the rest of the vampire is sufficiently covered, including the hands. It is battery operated and needs no electricity. Let’s say we invented one that went on instantaneously as the bloodsucker stepped outside. It would stay on until nightfall or he returned inside. It is a formidable thing and would add to the intimidation of the creature. It is a solid helmet with a window-like face mask that can be replaced if worn or damaged. The material is super sturdy since it is used in foundries or on construction sites. Someone really cool had to design this beauty.

In my fantasy, vampires could buy this welder’s auto-darkening helmet in different colors and styles. Walmart now sells a $40 version for MIG and TIG use painted with black, white and red stripes accented with a checkerboard motif and stylized flames. I kid you not. Who wears this? No self-respecting vampire would dare put it on. Let’s say that the choices will be limited to basic black, white, and charcoal. One or the other color should go with any outfit. What is particularly appealing for the buyer is that the front comes down over the neck, protecting it in case he or she is wearing a crewneck. Ha!